What I failed to mention when I made you all jealous yesterday with thoughts of summer was the flies.
Ohhhh the flies.
See, Melbourne (well Australia as a whole) has a plethora of common flies (like the ones you see on dog-poop all the time.) Nobody warned me about the flies, and as someone who grew up spending her summers in the wilds of Northern Ontario, I thought I knew all there was to know about bugs.
Because, you see, in Canada we have mosquitos that itch. And blackflies that leave bleeding rings of tiny bites wherever they can manage to get under your clothes. Canada has massive Deer Flies that take such huge chunks out of you it hurts more than you can imagine when they bite. Canada has more biting/flying bugs than you can imagine and so after spending more than one spring canoe-trip with mosquito nets over your heads and somehow still managing to eat, you figure you can handle anything.
Except I HATE these G-DAMN flies. The ones I am certain just alighted off that pile of fresh poop over there and are now CRAWLING ALL OVER MY FACE. Seriously, I feel like the poor starving children from the World Vision commercials. Except I'm obviously not poor, or starving, or a child.
These flies follow you when you run, with masses of them (10+) clinging to the back of your shirt in whichever spot you get sweaty first.
They take any opportunity they can to rush, swarming, into the building whenever you open the door and then live swirling around your kitchen light. It doesn't matter how meticulously you clean every single crumb of food up off the floor, or how often you poor vinegar and baking soda down your drains.
They buzz when you swat at them, and manage to stick themselves under your sunglasses. They crawl into every drink and walk all over any uncovered picnic spread. I look like someone with Tourette's swatting at them all the time and no other Aussie's seem to notice them as much.
But most annoying? See above. THEY CRAWL ALL OVER MY FACE.
EW.
The End.



